Heavens To Murgatroyd

What puzzles me is, if there is an after-life and it is as wonderful as all the various religious leaders profess it to be, then why are they all still here? Crazy as they were, at least our friends from Heaven’s Gate and the various other suicide cults put their money where their mouth was. They believed there was something to go to that was better than their current earthly existence, and they acted on that belief. I have to admire the courage of their convictions.

As opposed to all the other living religious leaders, who spend an enormous amount of time asking their followers to martyr themselves, without ever volunteering to do so themselves. If this life is so miserable and transient and the next one is so glorious I would have thought they would be tripping over themselves to get there. More’s the pity that they are not.

And why rail against all the infidels and injustices in this life, when it’s all temporary and an eternity of paradise awaits just around the corner? Surely killing all the unbelievers is counterproductive, because they are receiving a quick trip to their version of paradise, rather than being left to suffer a bit longer on this plane of existence. Except for the murdered atheists, who just stay dead and buried. At least we won’t have to put up with an eternity of preaching, hymns and virgins. Actually I could probably cope with the third one, although I’ve never quite worked out what the virgins get if they martyr themselves.

Dr. F. Bunny

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  1. #1 by Joe 'Blondie' Manco on 16/08/2012 - 8:09 pm

    I’ve never understood the virgins thing. Having had sex with more experienced partners here in reality, why would I want to downgrade to virgins later on?

    And as most, if not all, the people I respect and admire fit the criteria for Hell, I’d much rather go there, if it existed, than Heaven, to be honest.

  2. #2 by vetsbeyondreason on 17/08/2012 - 6:43 pm

    I’ve already started practising my wailing and gnashing of teeth.

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