Posts Tagged God
Testing. Testing. Is this thing on? Okay. Thanks.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am fed up with having sympathy for the devil, giving the devil his due or being the devil’s advocate. For someone who whinges about not getting enough air time Lucifer seems to be everywhere these days. Well I say, what about me? Isn’t it time we heard from the other side? From me? From God?
Well, ladies and gentlemen, today is your lucky day.
I will give him credit. Lu has made evil into an attractive proposition. It’s cool to be bad and dreadfully old fashioned to be good. But what exactly is cool about mass murder, genocide, theft, or rape? I don’t remember too many smiling victims saying how cool it felt to be slaughtered or have their houses burned to the ground. Never mind greed being good, good is good. Good is the new cool.
How cool is it when you forget your wallet only to have it returned, credit cards and cash intact? How cool is it when you are trapped in a wrecked car because a drunken idiot slammed into you and a bunch of strangers stop and pull you out? This is the sort of stuff you should get excited about, not gang wars, drugs and violence. Nobody wants to be a part of that.
And please stop trying to defend my honour. I am God and I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me. I don’t want people to blow themselves and their neighbours to hell, because that is certainly where they are going, on my behalf. I am a big boy and I can look after myself. People have been killed in my name for centuries and I want it to stop. Now. I have to admit that I am really looking forward to meeting all those guys who tell everyone else to die for me. Oddly enough they don’t seem to be in any kind of rush to come and visit. I wonder why?
And what is it with the sex thing? I love sex. After all I invented it, didn’t I? Stop making it into some kind of dirty disgusting thing and have fun. Contraception is fine too. Everyone knows you can’t just keep reproducing forever. But celibacy hurts my feelings. It makes me think you don’t appreciate my gifts. So stop acting like Lucifer’s the fun guy and I am the stick in the mud. Lu’s idea of fun involves children and doing things without people’s consent.
Unlike Lu I want you to get on with your lives, with minimal interference from me. Sure I made you but, like a good parent, I know when to let go. I don’t want to tell you what to do every second of the day. I am happy to give you advice but you can take it or leave it. I want you to make your own mistakes and learn your own lessons. And don’t believe what is written in all those so called holy books. You know what the media is like when it comes to reporting facts.
Now, I like you, I really do. After all I made you in my image. But, like any parent, I can’t play favourites. I have to treat you all equal, so if you decide to break all your toys I am not going to make you new ones, and if you drive yourselves to extinction that will be sad, but I am not going to intervene. I have other children on other planets to worry about and I can only devote so much of my time to you. Personally I think it is time you all grew up, took responsibility for your lives and got on with it. I will always be here and I will always be your parent but now it is time for you to leave the nest and fly.
Good luck. And Ozzy, God is not dead, not by a long stretch.
Atheists are commonly asked, “How can there be morality without God?” This is the wrong question. The question should be, “How can there be morality with God?” God is incredibly divisive and regularly pits his followers against the non-believers. The trouble is that all theists consider themselves to be his followers. God must be very keen for people to come and stay with him because he has been, and continues to be, one of the major causes of conflict throughout the history of the world. Before judging the amoral atheists consider that atheists do not raise armies to destroy non-atheists. Atheists do not blow themselves up, or anyone else for that matter. Atheists are very tolerant of other people’s imaginary friends and do not force them to recant their beliefs. They don’t burn people at the stake, behead them, threaten small children with eternal damnation, subjugate women or build extravagant monuments to their imaginary friends. Atheists decide for themselves what is right and what is wrong. They don’t rely on anachronistic scribblings to tell them what to do, scribblings such as those I have listed below. Unfortunately these edicts are a little too general and need some clarification and updating. I would appreciate it if anyone can help me out.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obliged to kill him myself?
c) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev 1:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
d) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her (While visiting Morocco I was offered 1000 camels. Of course I refused. He then increased it to 2000 camels. That represented serious currency. Unfortunately my wife threatened me with serious violence, so I was forced to decline his generous offer, much to my daughter’s relief)?
e) Lev 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Indonesians, but not New Zealanders. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own New Zealanders?
f) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15: 19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or are there some allowances for reading glasses?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean, but may my son still play football if he wears gloves?
j) My uncle, a farmer, blatantly violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). I have also heard him curse and blaspheme. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16). Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair?
Definitely an oldie but a goody. How can there be morality without God? I’m sorry what was the question?
Dr. F. Bunny
This week’s Q and A on ABC 1 (9/4/12) featured the great debate about the existence of god (any god I think). The antagonists were Richard Dawkins and the ever obtuse George Pell. Goodness me if ever we were to be granted evidence of the non-existence of a catholic deity this was it.
Viewers of course could make up their own minds by watching the footage (http://www.abc.net.au/tv/qanda/txt/s3469101.htm), however any person with a functioning cranium could see that the poor old church is struggling to come up with evidence for the existence of their almighty imaginary friend god. It is just not acceptable to start an argument using scientific strategy and as soon as the going gets tough call for divine intervention. What a load of rubbish. The audience was stacked with sycophants who couldn’t even follow the debate closely enough to work out when to cheer on their hero. Embarrassingly, during moments of George’s extreme ignorance, the entire auditorium fell silent.
Message for George Pell: Arrogance is not an antidote for Ignorance.
The age-old question, “why does a benevolent deity create such extensive misery” was once again buried beneath a mountain of holier than thou faithspeak. When faced with the difficult questions Pell had nothing constructive or illuminating to offer. His ignorance of basic biology and the methods of science were breathtaking.
Unfortunately no-one posed the obvious to George. If the teachings of the catholic church are so intimately connected to goodness and caring for the wellbeing of others, why oh why, did George and his peers turn their backs on countless acts of sexual abuse within their own ranks? How can the purveyors of good simultaneously be the perpetrators of these acts of extreme evil? I hold the view that the person who is aware of such crimes and does nothing, ranks alongside the criminal. I fail to see how these cowards could possibly rate a seat on George’s heaven bus.
My final dismay with this most frustrating program was in regard to the existence of global warming and the influence of human activity on the process. George once again seized the high ground and pronounced that he was not convinced by the science. George is not qualified to evaluate the science. George has no problem accepting various miraculous acts in the absence of any plausible explanation such as parting the sea, converting water into wine, moving heavy stones and curing various uncurable conditions all without a scrap of evidence but when faced with the rather unsubtle reality of global warming can’t come at the science.
Thanks George, nature is my religion and your efforts do nothing to convince me otherwise.